Let's pretend that my last post wasn't almost two weeks ago. Actually, the last post was on my 39th birthday and I forgot to say anything about it. It feels weird to have 40 on the horizon.
We spent Christmas at Ethan's parents' house, which was lovely as always. All three of his brothers and their families came by, as did Ethan's aunt and uncle. Which means that the entire family was under one roof. Rare and exciting. We were thrilled to see Dermot's cousins. We have seen Brynna a couple of times before, but we got to meet 9 month old Zachary for the first time. So much cuteness and sweetness!
We drove up to Perkasie on Christmas Eve in all of the rain. We woke up to ice on the streets, so we left a couple of hours later than we usually do, but it was the right decision. We had a smooth drive up there. We brought all of Dermot's gifts with us, except for two that Ethan decided to save for later. Ethan's brother and his family from SC arrived around dinner time, and much chaos ensued. Ethan's oldest brother had also arrived by this point. Before the family arrived from SC, we let Dermot open one gift. I had grown up with a tradition of opening one gift before bed on Christmas Eve. We were pushing Dermot to open a Lego gift in order to keep him busy, so we let him open his present during the afternoon. This turned out to be a good call. We got him a big Lego Pirate ship from their new pirate line. It took us all afternoon to build it, and we got it done right before the baby arrived. Little Zachary is moving quickly and putting everything in his mouth. The last thing any of us needed was Lego pieces all over the floor.
That night after we put the kids to sleep, Pop Pop brought out the kids' presents and I hung up stockings for all three kids. I really wanted to start a stocking tradition this year, so I got stockings for all three kids. I wanted them to be able to wake up and rip right into their stockings in order to tide them over until it was time to unwrap their presents. Dermot got a Batman stocking and I just got plain stockings for the other two kids. I thought that they may not make the trip back to SC due to luggage space. Dermot and Brynna mostly got candy, but I did find Dermot two tiny lego packs. I also got Brynna some small stuff. All I got Zachary was two baby toys since he doesn't really need candy yet.
I should point out that I actually got up before Dermot. I was one of those kids who couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve and was up at 6, but not Dermot. Brynna was, though. Dermot slept until almost 8. He's been sleepy lately, and I'm letting him pick his own times. After some whining and begging, the kids got to tear open their gifts. Dermot got so much stuff! We bought him the build your own light saber thing that he really wanted, and he's been using constantly. He also got a bunch of action figures (Clone Wars, Batman, Justice League), some more legos, books, board games (mousetrap, sorry sliders, and hulk operation), puzzles, and kid appropriate Spiderman comic books. He also got a microscope that attaches to our tv from my parents. He's been truly grateful (mostly) for his gifts, and even more surprising, he's played with all of it. Yeah! He says the sweetest things about it too. He says, "I love you because you bought me things I like." It's not exactly what I'd like to hear from him since it's so materialistic, but I see the underlying meaning in it. I think that he really gets it that we understand him as a person. At his age I was getting dolls, Barbies, and clothes as gifts and I just hated them.
I should also point out that Ethan totally surprised me with a gift this year. We don't always exchange gifts and there's no expectation that if one of us buys a gift the other one will too. It's completely spontaneous and unexpected between us. I really thought that we were doing nothing this year, and then he presents me with a big wrapped box at his parents' house. So while the kids were opening their gifts, so was I. Ethan bought me a netbook. Basically it's a tiny laptop computer that's just for basic things. I had mentioned, briefly, that it might be nice to get a laptop so that I can teach online courses during the summer and still be able to travel. I really want to take Dermot to Boston this summer, and I liked the idea of not being tied to NJ while I am teaching. I can handle my online courses from anywhere. Ethan took the idea and ran with it. The netbook will also be useful while I'm at the main campus where I work. Since I work at a branch campus, my office is there, but I'm at the main campus usually two days a week. I have nowhere to work while I'm there, and I hate being inefficient with my time. Now I can bring my netbook and check email and work on my lectures and reports. Ethan is really good with gifts.
We left the next day and we haven't been doing much. Dermot says that he doesn't want to leave the house. He and I did stay in all day yesterday and it made us cranky. So today we all went out to the bookstore, which he complained about. We actually wanted to go to New York since the weather was gorgeous here today, but he didn't want to go. Weird kid. Any other time he would have jumped at the chance. He says he just wants to stay home with his family. Too bad kid, we all end up stir crazy and mad at each other when we do that. We already have plans for Tuesday morning and Wednesday evening. I think that Ethan and I are also going to shoot for some alone shopping time while we're all on break. I want clothes and Ethan wants a piano (so do I, but not as badly as he really needs one). Ethan and Dermot don't go back until the 5th and I'm off until the 14th. Of course, I have a ton of work to do, and I will be back at work full time on the 5th too. It's just that I'll be working at home.
I hope that everyone had a fantastic holiday season and that New Year is even better for all of us than the last.
December 28, 2008
December 15, 2008
The Meeting
So we finally had our meeting with Dermot's daycare. It seems that they were not withholding food from Dermot, but there was a misunderstanding. The director, who was rude, as usual, had interviewed all staff separately. It appears that a teacher who is not in Dermot's classroom came by during lunch to talk to one of the other teachers. When she noticed that Dermot was just going to throw away the cookie part of his Oreos, she suggested that his parents did not send him cookies just to have him throw part of them away. Dermot said that he didn't want to eat the cookie, but this teacher didn't give up. So she's in trouble because she was not one of Dermot's primary care providers and yet she was trying to work with him. I was actually happy to note that the assistant teacher in Dermot's room advocated for him. She told this guest teacher that Dermot wouldn't change his mind and that she shouldn't bother him.
Apparently, they were working on broadening Dermot's food preferences. Good luck with that. He eats about 5 things, and he refuses to try things. He would live on Pop Tarts (frostingless), vanilla soy yogurt, hummus, wheat thins, fruit roll ups, pasta, and Boca vegan chikn patties if we let him. How dare I try to get fruits or veggies into him. I'm at a point where red sauce on pasta counts as a veggie because at least tomatoes have vitamin c and other benefits.
After the heart of the matter was discussed, it came up that they were worried about Dermot getting enough calories. They thought that he was filling up on soy milk and not wanting to eat solid food. Dermot is not a freaking 18 month old. I swear. I know more about nutrition than they do. I send him high protein foods because he does play so hard. They feed the kids there such crap - chicken fingers and fries anyone, but they are concerned about my kid's food? I ate a vegan diet while I was building him. I know what we need to eat. I have books on vegan nutrition for crying out loud. Just because it doesn't fit the old fashioned lots of meat, some veggies and some "starch" that I grew up with, doesn't mean that it's bad. Plus Dermot is good at self-regulating his food. He seems to like one big meal. If he eats a lot of lunch, then he hardly eats dinner, but if he eats a small lunch, he wants a big dinner. It all balances out, and that's supposed to be our goal.
Overall the meeting was okay, but I still don't think that the director sees things from anyone else's perspective.
Apparently, they were working on broadening Dermot's food preferences. Good luck with that. He eats about 5 things, and he refuses to try things. He would live on Pop Tarts (frostingless), vanilla soy yogurt, hummus, wheat thins, fruit roll ups, pasta, and Boca vegan chikn patties if we let him. How dare I try to get fruits or veggies into him. I'm at a point where red sauce on pasta counts as a veggie because at least tomatoes have vitamin c and other benefits.
After the heart of the matter was discussed, it came up that they were worried about Dermot getting enough calories. They thought that he was filling up on soy milk and not wanting to eat solid food. Dermot is not a freaking 18 month old. I swear. I know more about nutrition than they do. I send him high protein foods because he does play so hard. They feed the kids there such crap - chicken fingers and fries anyone, but they are concerned about my kid's food? I ate a vegan diet while I was building him. I know what we need to eat. I have books on vegan nutrition for crying out loud. Just because it doesn't fit the old fashioned lots of meat, some veggies and some "starch" that I grew up with, doesn't mean that it's bad. Plus Dermot is good at self-regulating his food. He seems to like one big meal. If he eats a lot of lunch, then he hardly eats dinner, but if he eats a small lunch, he wants a big dinner. It all balances out, and that's supposed to be our goal.
Overall the meeting was okay, but I still don't think that the director sees things from anyone else's perspective.
December 14, 2008
It's That Time Again
Well finals start next week. So I have been psycho busy finishing things and grading this past week. Sorry for my absence. Here are some more funny Dermot stories.
Dermot is really wanting to start telling jokes. I have to point out that developmentally he's a little early with this. There actually are psychologists who study humor in children. My brother was really funny at an early age, and I very much was not. Here's Dermot joke. It's actually from the Riddler in one of his Batman books. What is the tallest building? A library because it's full of books. The actual answer is the library because it's full of stories, but I don't think that Dermot understands stories as floors, so his mind switched it to books. So fantastic from a psychologist's view point. But also really funny because it was unexpected.
Today in the car on our way to Ethiopian food (yum, by the way): Dermot tells me that you only grow on your actual birthday day. Then he tells me that soon he will out grow his winter coat because he'll be too fat for it. We tell him that he'll probably be too tall for it and not too fat for it. So then he asks when will he get fat. Of course, we say, hopefully never. Then he says that he wants to be fat because he wants to know what it's like to be fat. Goofy kid. Believe me, after my life time and all of the grief I have had both physically and mentally because of my weight, I never want to see that day. One of my biggest concerns has always been Dermot's weight. I am scared to death that he'll experience what I went through. So far, he seems right around the 50th percentile. I know that by 7, I was already being made fun of by the other children. It may have been even earlier, but I don't look big in my school pictures from that time.
In more Oedipal news, Dermot is constantly asking if he can snuggle with me. Ethan asked when he would get a turn to snuggle with me and Dermot said, "Never!"
Dermot is really wanting to start telling jokes. I have to point out that developmentally he's a little early with this. There actually are psychologists who study humor in children. My brother was really funny at an early age, and I very much was not. Here's Dermot joke. It's actually from the Riddler in one of his Batman books. What is the tallest building? A library because it's full of books. The actual answer is the library because it's full of stories, but I don't think that Dermot understands stories as floors, so his mind switched it to books. So fantastic from a psychologist's view point. But also really funny because it was unexpected.
Today in the car on our way to Ethiopian food (yum, by the way): Dermot tells me that you only grow on your actual birthday day. Then he tells me that soon he will out grow his winter coat because he'll be too fat for it. We tell him that he'll probably be too tall for it and not too fat for it. So then he asks when will he get fat. Of course, we say, hopefully never. Then he says that he wants to be fat because he wants to know what it's like to be fat. Goofy kid. Believe me, after my life time and all of the grief I have had both physically and mentally because of my weight, I never want to see that day. One of my biggest concerns has always been Dermot's weight. I am scared to death that he'll experience what I went through. So far, he seems right around the 50th percentile. I know that by 7, I was already being made fun of by the other children. It may have been even earlier, but I don't look big in my school pictures from that time.
In more Oedipal news, Dermot is constantly asking if he can snuggle with me. Ethan asked when he would get a turn to snuggle with me and Dermot said, "Never!"
December 06, 2008
Freud Lives in My House
So I'm a psychologist, but I actually despise Freud's writings. They do not hold up to scientific scrutiny and they are one of the big reasons why people think psychology is either a joke or not a science. I teach my students that Freud is more studied by people in the humanities (arts and English) than by people in psychology. In fact, when I was at Uncle Derik's house, I saw at least one Freud book and one Jung book, which is exactly two more than I have (Uncle Derik went to art school, is a writer and a librarian). Freud's ideas are fantastic to mine for the non-real world, but useless when it comes to raising kids.
So here's the really funny part. My kid is so very much living the Freud life. Between 3 and 8 kids are in the phallic stage. Part of this stage is the Oedipal complex for boys. Boys fall in love with their mothers and dad becomes the "enemy". For more than a year, I have been living out this scenario. Dermot and Ethan are okay, but sometimes Dermot says some really strange things. For over a year he has wanted to marry me and give me married kisses. Fortunately, married kisses are normal kisses but you turn your head to opposite sides. He also says "Mama only" quite a lot. "I want Mama, not Daddy."
Well today for the first time Dermot told Ethan that he wanted to fight him and that the winner would get Mama. Then Dermot pretended to hit Ethan in the stomach and declared himself the victor. After that he said, "Mama's mine." If that kid even brings up something related to castration anxiety, so help me god. I don't know if I can handle 2-3 more years of this. It's funny, and it will make for great conversation to future dates, but it's really creepy. I'm focusing on the aspect that this means he really loves me and that I mean a lot to him. I know that by his age I was already having negative feelings toward my parents. When he does, they are very fleeting.
So here's the really funny part. My kid is so very much living the Freud life. Between 3 and 8 kids are in the phallic stage. Part of this stage is the Oedipal complex for boys. Boys fall in love with their mothers and dad becomes the "enemy". For more than a year, I have been living out this scenario. Dermot and Ethan are okay, but sometimes Dermot says some really strange things. For over a year he has wanted to marry me and give me married kisses. Fortunately, married kisses are normal kisses but you turn your head to opposite sides. He also says "Mama only" quite a lot. "I want Mama, not Daddy."
Well today for the first time Dermot told Ethan that he wanted to fight him and that the winner would get Mama. Then Dermot pretended to hit Ethan in the stomach and declared himself the victor. After that he said, "Mama's mine." If that kid even brings up something related to castration anxiety, so help me god. I don't know if I can handle 2-3 more years of this. It's funny, and it will make for great conversation to future dates, but it's really creepy. I'm focusing on the aspect that this means he really loves me and that I mean a lot to him. I know that by his age I was already having negative feelings toward my parents. When he does, they are very fleeting.
December 05, 2008
Little Trump
Just a quick one. Dermot told me this morning that I was fired. Just like Donald Trump used to on TV. Then he said that since I am fired, I dont' have to go to work. Since I don't have to go to work, I can stay home with him. Then just to top it off, he started fake coughing. It's starts early, I guess.
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